Have a theological question?

Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for

Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope.

Robert D. Enright.

American Psychological Association. 2001.

ISBN: 9781557987572.

Forgiveness Is a Choice presents forgiveness primarily as a voluntary process of healing for the injured person, rather than as excusing the offense, denying the pain, abandoning justice, or automatically restoring the relationship. The book distinguishes forgiveness from trust and reconciliation, emphasizing that reconciliation requires renewed safety and mutual participation.

The book’s central model moves through several stages: acknowledge the injury and anger; confront the depth and consequences of the hurt; commit to the decision to forgive; gain perspective on the offender without denying responsibility; develop more constructive feelings, thoughts, and behaviours; experience release from resentment and emotional imprisonment; and decide whether and how to communicate forgiveness.

For a theological reader, Enright’s approach is useful because it treats forgiveness as morally serious while resisting sentimental or premature reconciliation. It can be placed in conversation with Christian themes such as mercy, repentance, justice, confession, and reconciliation, but it is written primarily as a psychological guide, not as a work of biblical theology.

Clinically, the book focuses on reducing destructive anger and resentment while restoring self-respect, hope, and a more purposeful future. The American Psychological Association describes Enright’s forgiveness programme as aiming to reduce anxiety and depression and increase self-esteem and hopefulness, while stressing that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more directly than the forgiven.

Forgiveness should not be used to pressure someone to remain in an abusive relationship, minimize trauma, bypass grief, or reconcile with an unsafe person. A person may forgive internally while maintaining firm boundaries, seeking justice, ending contact, or postponing reconciliation indefinitely.

Robert D. Enright, PhD, is an American educational psychologist, licensed psychologist, and professor at the University of Wisconsin–Madison. He earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Westfield State University in 1973 and a PhD in educational psychology from the University of Minnesota in 1976.

Enright is widely recognized as a pioneer in the scientific study of interpersonal forgiveness. His research has examined the psychological processes involved in forgiving, the effects of forgiveness therapy, and the development of forgiveness-education programs in schools and communities.

Enright received the American Psychological Foundation’s 2022 Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology.

About Coram Deo

Coram Deo — before the face of God. This blog reflects on Scripture, world events, science, music, psychology, and the human mind — always through the lens of Christian faith. All of life is lived before the face of God.